Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Your kidney is my kidney: or is it the other way around?

newtothis said...
Hello Lily, I found DW a few weeks ago and have been reading the blogs she links to her site. I read your blog as well as your comments on her site. This is a comment to your comment on her blog. You had mentioned that you now correct your husband in public on his denial(s). What I found humorous was your mentioning the medication he takes so he does not reject "his" kidney. Sorry but I did laugh. I laughed because "his" kidney is "your" kidney. Right? You don't know me and I'll admit I've had a hard weekend dealing with my P-DH's mood swings. As a mother I know we GIVE birth and once given it's their's. But a kidney? Surely one who gives an organ should receive continued credit from the receiver. Especially if the person getting the organ is the spouse. Hopefully I am not too out of line for addressing this to you. If your DH can be as mean as mine the last thing I wish to bring into you life is conflict. I admire the selfless gift you gave to another. You are amazing, the only way someone is getting one of my kidneys is over my dead body. (I say this tongue-in-cheek, I'm a registered organ donor.) Thank you for your blog. S


Glad you have found my blog, and thank you for the comments.  Always nice to get a new reader!

Yes, you are right, and I understand the humor.  I think we all have learned to laugh at off-the-wall things!  "His" kidney is (or at least was) "my" kidney.  And yes, there are times I want to literally slap him upside the head and tell him he needs to take better care of himself and the kidney I gave him.

However, when I made the decision to donate, I also made the decision that once transplanted, it was his kidney.   Are there some days I wonder if I would really do it all over again?  You betcha, and on those days, I don't feel so amazing . . . but thank you for saying so!

Unfortunately, my husband underwent some mental/psychiatric changes after the transplant that I was not at all prepared for.  Some of the anti-rejection meds he will have to take for the rest of his life make his blood sugars run high, and others seem to have taken their toll on his (and my!) mental well-being as well.  The anti-anxiety meds he is taking now are probably counteracting another med he has to be on.  It is really a vicious cycle, and I wish more people fully realized that an organ transplant is never fully "over." 


  1. Hi Lilly,

    I'm so glad my humor didn't offend you. After I finished posting the comment I was a little worried.

    I have to admit I am one of those people who do not fully realized what happens after an organ transplant. I do understand how medications can affect a person and cross effect other medications. However, when someone, like your DH, has no choice but to take the medicines and endure the side-effects that can not be easy...for either of you.

    Maybe the next time he gives you "one of those days" you can slap him upside the head and run. From what I am beginning to understand there's a good chance he won't remember you did it a few hours later.

    You wives have been a great support group to me. I just started blogging my DH frustrations away. If you find the time, stop by and say hi. I set it up here at blogspot and I'm: Day to Day With a Diabetic.

    I'm still trying to link the DH wives blogs to my page. Hopefully I'll figure it out soon.

    BTW: I don't care how mad you get at your DH, I will always think you are amazing!

  2. Thanks again. I just found your blog, and read your first entry, which is all I have time for before work. Will definitely come back later. You express yourself well! So glad you have joined us. As you already said, it helps so much knowing you are not alone. Take care, and welcome to our blog circle!