Michael Hoskins said...Lilly: Thank for you for your blog, and having the courage to share such personal aspects of your life with diabetes (as a wonderful Type 3 spouse!). On one hand, it's very informative and I appreciate hearing your views... However, it does scare the crap out of me. I've been reading many of the D-Wife blogs and have traditionally found them to be focused on pre-D or T2 and much different than what I've been living with as a Type 1 of 27 years married for about five years. Yours is the first I've found, and it seems like a look into what could be down our road. That's what scares me, knowing what could be possible. I don't see the same "yelling match" type issues that so many describe, but it has happened and we acknowledge it can be an issue. I always feel horrible (and do remember) and wish it wasn't the case... Anyhow, thank you for doing what you do. I'll look forward to reading more!
Michael,
Thank you for reading my blog, and I really am sorry I've scared the crap out of you! As the spouse of a Type 1 diabetic, I feel scared as well, and that sometimes comes out as anger. It is never easy, and I can often only imagine how it must feel for my husband at times. Your comments are always welcome, and thank you for not being negative. I honestly thought that if I ever heard from a diabetic spouse, he or she would be very pissed off, as I am (most of the time) painfully honest on this blog.
My husband has been a Type 1 for over 30 years, and when he was first diagnosed, he probably did not get the care and expertise that he should have had. I can only guess at how much that affected his health later on. I did go to your blog and read a few entries, and it sounds as if you are trying very hard to maintain yourself at optimum blood glucose levels. I will be "dropping in" again to see how you are doing, and maybe it will help me to understand what is going on with my husband a little more, at least with controlling his sugars, as it seems you struggle with that, too.
Thank you,
Lilly
Hi Lilly: Well, I'm just floored to the subject of a blog post all on its own! Wow. But I appreciate the feedback and continued conversation. Honestly, some of the posts from other D-wives I've read seem (to me) very negative. But you know what? That's those individuals' feelings and perspectives, and they are so totally valid and valuable parts of our community. I think we're all a part of this broad Diabetes Community in our own ways, and we offer something to it. I see no reason to tear others down, because that helps no one. Who am I to criticize their lives and perspectives? I just hope their spouses (yours, too) what the challenges and problems are and can be, and is willing to be someone able to communicate and recognize all that. You're absolutely right that People With Diabetes didn't receive adequate support, especially of the mental aspect, long ago and until recently it hasn't been possible. Many of my longtime diabetic friends in the Diabetes Online Community have gone through depression and denial issues, as I have when I was younger, and only until finding this online support have we found those who truly "get it" and what we so long have needed. Same goes for our spouses. It makes me so very happy there's a growing community of online support for D-Wives and Spouses, because that's so incredibly needed. I hope to get more insight into what my own actions do to my own wife, and how I might respond or communicate about or face those issues in my D-Life. I thank you for that, as a Type 1 husband. But most importantly: We love you, and I know I would not be here without what you Type 3s do. And from my own heart, I apologize for whatever heartache and tears diabetes has caused you and your family. God bless, and I'll look forward to keeping in touch. (I'll also make sure to clue you in on all the "spouse" tagged blog posts I write!) Best your way and to your D-Spouse, Lilly.
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