This post is really to Sandy, as I don't know how else to reach you. Just tried to read some of your posts (I have been "away" for awhile!), and apparently your blog is now open to only "invited" readers? Hope everything is okay . . . :-(
Lilly
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
My fault . . . really?
Started the long weekend that I had so looked forward to with screams from hubby that the dog had peed all over his bedroom rug, and that it was "my fault" because I had not let her out. The normal scheme of things (for years) is that on the weekends, I sleep in for an hour or two (which is the only time I get to do this!), and he lets out the dog, since she does sleep in his room, not mine. When I did get up and opened the door to let her out and feed her, he yells at her to "stay right there!" and then starts yelling at me that she has peed on the rug, it's my fault, and that I need to clean it up.
I told him to stop it because he was sounding crazy again, and that I was not cleaning up something that was not my fault. And who in hell tells a dog to "stay" when she probably needs to go out anyway??? He then told me that I never know when to shut up! Are you kidding me? Honestly, I felt like packing my bags and leaving again. A little hard, as my nephew had stayed overnight, and probably heard the whole exchange between us. Hubby did finally clean it up much later in the afternoon when he finally decided to get out of bed.
When I tried to discuss this with him later, his excuse for not getting up and letting her out is that he "can't walk well early in the morning!" I am so sick of the excuses, as he has one for everything. He then informed me that the conversation was "over." Really? Not for me, not by a long shot, as the dog urinated on his rug again the next morning. His latest complaint? His room smells like dog pee! Gee, I wonder why? I feel sorry for our dog, as she had to be pretty desperate to do this. This is not her normal thing.
At least 2 positive things did happen over the weekend, though: my nephew helped me clean out all the "killer weeds" in my flower and vegetable beds, and we (nephew and I) went kayaking for several hours. The yard looks so much nicer now, and being out on the water was wonderful. Amazing weather, so was able to enjoy being outside. I have every intention of enjoying it while I can.
I told him to stop it because he was sounding crazy again, and that I was not cleaning up something that was not my fault. And who in hell tells a dog to "stay" when she probably needs to go out anyway??? He then told me that I never know when to shut up! Are you kidding me? Honestly, I felt like packing my bags and leaving again. A little hard, as my nephew had stayed overnight, and probably heard the whole exchange between us. Hubby did finally clean it up much later in the afternoon when he finally decided to get out of bed.
When I tried to discuss this with him later, his excuse for not getting up and letting her out is that he "can't walk well early in the morning!" I am so sick of the excuses, as he has one for everything. He then informed me that the conversation was "over." Really? Not for me, not by a long shot, as the dog urinated on his rug again the next morning. His latest complaint? His room smells like dog pee! Gee, I wonder why? I feel sorry for our dog, as she had to be pretty desperate to do this. This is not her normal thing.
At least 2 positive things did happen over the weekend, though: my nephew helped me clean out all the "killer weeds" in my flower and vegetable beds, and we (nephew and I) went kayaking for several hours. The yard looks so much nicer now, and being out on the water was wonderful. Amazing weather, so was able to enjoy being outside. I have every intention of enjoying it while I can.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Fighting to keep my head above water
Haven't been writing lately, as there has just been so much going on. Hubby is basically doing NOTHING since I got back from my trip in August. He is either sleeping, watching TV, or planted in front of the computer. So I pretty much get to do it all. It's all so depressing.
Needless to say, "it" doesn't all get done, as I am also working, attempting to clean house and care for an elderly parent, regularly visiting another elderly family member, and also dealing with some garbage that an evil sister-in-law has created, which may or may not end up in court. Stop the world already, I want to get off! It would be so much better if I could at least sleep at night.
One bright spot: I have finally gone kayaking a couple of times this week. Could have spent the time doing something else that should have gotten done, but . . . I reveled in the peace of being out on the water. Need to get out there again soon, as it is starting to get colder. Now, if I could only kayak away from all my problems, I'd be all set!
Needless to say, "it" doesn't all get done, as I am also working, attempting to clean house and care for an elderly parent, regularly visiting another elderly family member, and also dealing with some garbage that an evil sister-in-law has created, which may or may not end up in court. Stop the world already, I want to get off! It would be so much better if I could at least sleep at night.
One bright spot: I have finally gone kayaking a couple of times this week. Could have spent the time doing something else that should have gotten done, but . . . I reveled in the peace of being out on the water. Need to get out there again soon, as it is starting to get colder. Now, if I could only kayak away from all my problems, I'd be all set!
Saturday, September 17, 2011
(UN) stimulating conversation
Maybe I'm mean for even feeling this way, but:
I would so love it if my husband could greet me when I walk in the door with something (anything!) other than telling me how bad he has felt all day, and how he couldn't get anything done. Does he think that lets him off the hook for not getting out of bed all day, or doing anything besides watching television? I find myself slipping into monosyllabic answers almost immediately, as I don't want to talk about his illness non-stop anymore. And if he's not talking about how lousy he feels, he is talking about something else he wants to buy that we don't need. Both topics of conversation upset and exhaust me . . . and if I try to actually discuss anything else with him, he will immediately disagree with what I am trying to tell him and I have to justify myself in some way. Also exhausting, and makes me angry! Oh, and most of his talking is still way too loud and non-stop. He blames it on his hearing aids not working, but he just got 2 brand new ones. What the heck? Have been spending more and more time away and in the basement after work, as he doesn't come down there very much. Does this make me a b***h? Sometimes I wonder . . .
I would so love it if my husband could greet me when I walk in the door with something (anything!) other than telling me how bad he has felt all day, and how he couldn't get anything done. Does he think that lets him off the hook for not getting out of bed all day, or doing anything besides watching television? I find myself slipping into monosyllabic answers almost immediately, as I don't want to talk about his illness non-stop anymore. And if he's not talking about how lousy he feels, he is talking about something else he wants to buy that we don't need. Both topics of conversation upset and exhaust me . . . and if I try to actually discuss anything else with him, he will immediately disagree with what I am trying to tell him and I have to justify myself in some way. Also exhausting, and makes me angry! Oh, and most of his talking is still way too loud and non-stop. He blames it on his hearing aids not working, but he just got 2 brand new ones. What the heck? Have been spending more and more time away and in the basement after work, as he doesn't come down there very much. Does this make me a b***h? Sometimes I wonder . . .
Monday, September 5, 2011
Back home again
My trip was amazing. So wonderful to reconnect with family, and I even went hiking in the Rockies! Wonderful. It is now time to return to the "real" world, which is not so easy. Surprisingly, hubby did manage to have the house somewhat together when I got home. Didn't know whether to be happy about it (of course I was), or a little angry that he doesn't make more of an effort when I am here. Oh well . . .
Here is (sort of) a picture of me in the mountains. Thank God for moments like this:
Here is (sort of) a picture of me in the mountains. Thank God for moments like this:
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Taking a trip . . . :-)
I leave tomorrow for an extended trip to 2 different states: one southern and one western. Looking forward to seeing family that I almost never see, but are very dear to me. Will be gone almost 3 weeks, and am giving friends and family a "heads up" that hubby will be on his own. Hopefully, everything will be okay. I worry, but I also really need to get away for awhile: to spend time with family I love, and just to regenerate mentally and physically.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Close Call for Both of Us
We are just wrapping up a camping trip with friends in our motor home today. For the most part, it's been fun, with no out of control episodes with hubby. Whew! The last few days have been good time to unwind.
However, getting here was more than we bargained for. Going almost 70 MPH on a major multi-lane highway, I had a front tire blow out while I was driving. Felt and sounded as if a bomb had exploded underneath me, as it was on my side. Thank God, no other vehicles were in my way . . . maybe the pieces of tire which had peeled off warned them away? I swerved over into the left lane, and was able to (carefully) hit the brake and ease it back over onto the right shoulder, with cars and tractor trailers whizzing past me soon after. The tire was totally flat, and there wasn't much left of it.
Hubby had gotten up to go get something to eat, and thankfully had braced himself when the thing exploded. So thankfully, no one was hurt. I was rather grateful he wasn't in the front seat with me when it happened, as he might have freaked out, which would have distracted me from what I needed to do. So all in all, things worked out, thank God. Was I shaking when I got out of the camper? You betcha. I guess it just isn't our time to go yet . . . I do think we need to get AAA though. Would probably be a whole lot cheaper to fix next time!
However, getting here was more than we bargained for. Going almost 70 MPH on a major multi-lane highway, I had a front tire blow out while I was driving. Felt and sounded as if a bomb had exploded underneath me, as it was on my side. Thank God, no other vehicles were in my way . . . maybe the pieces of tire which had peeled off warned them away? I swerved over into the left lane, and was able to (carefully) hit the brake and ease it back over onto the right shoulder, with cars and tractor trailers whizzing past me soon after. The tire was totally flat, and there wasn't much left of it.
Hubby had gotten up to go get something to eat, and thankfully had braced himself when the thing exploded. So thankfully, no one was hurt. I was rather grateful he wasn't in the front seat with me when it happened, as he might have freaked out, which would have distracted me from what I needed to do. So all in all, things worked out, thank God. Was I shaking when I got out of the camper? You betcha. I guess it just isn't our time to go yet . . . I do think we need to get AAA though. Would probably be a whole lot cheaper to fix next time!
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