Modified on 2/13/18: I was married to man who was a Type 1 diabetic for over 30 years. He also had sleep apnea, spinal stenosis, neuropathy, gastroparesis, and retinopathy. He had triple bypass surgery and a kidney transplant (I was the living donor). Because of his high and low blood sugars, mood swings were a constant concern. Although I tried very hard to stay, we lost each other along the way. Leaving was a very tough decision for me, but staying was even more difficult.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Response to Anonymous: Why do I Stay?
"Why don't you complaining women of Diabetic husbands just get a divorce? I'm serious? Why are you staying?"
Anonymous, It took me awhile to post your very valid question, as I had to think about it for awhile. If you have read some of the other posts from myself and others, you would have a partial answer. However, I will try to explain as best I can (and I will only speak for myself here): - I am still in love with the man he was when we first got married. We used to have a lot of fun, and laughter was a part of every day. We had a deep love for each other. Yes, there were some disagreements, but nothing like now. I am greatly saddened by what diabetes and all its complications has taken away from our marriage. - There is a huge part of me that doesn't want to leave a chronically ill husband. What kind of person does that make me if I do? I knew that he had diabetes and the beginnings of kidney failure when we got married, and I chose to marry him anyway. In retrospect, probably not the greatest life choice, but I did know that things would get worse. I just didn't know how much worse that would be. - Another reason that I stay (that I am not proud of) is because of finances. I could make it on my own if I left, but it would be very difficult, and I could probably never retire. I don't know if any of this will make sense to you, but I am willing to bet that many of the "wives of diabetics" who read this will understand at least some of what I am saying. In the meantime, I'm (trying to) hang in there without losing myself. Some days, it's much harder than others. Will I continue to stay forever? I don't have an answer for that. Right now, it's one day at a time, and I do what I can to nurture myself so that I have the strength to go on. Lilly