Modified on 2/13/18: I was married to man who was a Type 1 diabetic for over 30 years. He also had sleep apnea, spinal stenosis, neuropathy, gastroparesis, and retinopathy. He had triple bypass surgery and a kidney transplant (I was the living donor). Because of his high and low blood sugars, mood swings were a constant concern. Although I tried very hard to stay, we lost each other along the way. Leaving was a very tough decision for me, but staying was even more difficult.
"I like the idea of a "woman cave". I miss having a basement. In my part of the country basements are not practical. I take that back, they would be VERY practical when the wild winds attempt to pick up and take away every thing in their paths. Alas, basements are rare here. It didn't sound at all terrible to me that you were relieved when he fell asleep. Why should you feel guilty for enjoying some peace? Luckily for me DH hasn't been LOUD in a few weeks. He's been doing what he needs to for his type-2 and so far so good. However, he has lied to me. He's still not testing. The guy either doesn't know his meter stores his past tests or doesn't realize I know his meter stores past tests. Therefore, I have no idea if he's low when monster jerk shows up or he's just an incredibly mean high sugar kind of guy. I've yet to find the magic word to get him to stop and start playing nicely with others. As far as I'm cocnerned...another glass of wine is never a bad idea!"
I know that in certain parts of the country, basements are rare because of the terrain and the expense of digging them. I have to admit, I love my sanctuary in the basement. I know I am very fortunate to have it. Not everyone can have that luxury. It is pretty much a finished basement, and I have a place for all my projects, books, genealogy, etc. When hubby started having difficulty getting up and down the stairs, I decided to make it my own, with his blessings. I can still occasionally hear the rants, but it still gives me a "get away space" when I need it, and the weather is not the best. Also a great place to have girlfriends over when we are crafting, etc. THANK YOU for telling me I'm not horrible for being glad he fell asleep! When I asked if anyone else is "loud," I'm not even talking about the screaming episodes . . . I am talking about consistently speaking (often for hours . . . God help me) in a very loud, rapid, nonstop voice, and seeming to be unaware of it, even after having been asked to tone it down. He will give me some senseless excuse for talking so loudly, and then continue at the very same level. Drives me crazy, to the point where I just need to get away from it. Add to the loudness the fact that he is usually not making a lot of sense, often thinks he's being funny, and WILL NOT shut up. If I make too much of an issue of it, then he gets mad. Easier to just go to the basement and find something to do (which isn't hard since I have everything right there) or go for a drive somewhere else for awhile. Honestly, I almost wonder if I could be "talked to death" if I didn't get some respite! It is very unsettling, and impossible to relax or unwind when he is doing this. Thus the drives, the woman cave, the wine, the . . . I could go on and on, but you get the idea. Thank you also for sharing about the highs and lows with your husband. Mine can get incredibly mean at both ends of the spectrum, and sometimes it is hard to sort out. At least he does frequently check his glucose levels, but not always when I wish he would. The big giveaway for me is if he starts with the cold sweats, then I know the sugar is really low. Unfortunately, this is usually shortly before he passes out! Unreal that your hubby is lying to you about checking his sugar. Sounds like he figures if he lies to you, you'll quit bugging him. And honestly (unfortunately!) I don't think there are any magic words to get them to "play nice." If there were, I think we all would have discovered them by now. :-( Take care, Lilly