I have decided to save, print, and re-read my blog entries. Of the few I have read in the act of copying/pasting, I am often horrified that I continued to stay for as long as I did. I think having a concrete record of this is important for me, as sometimes I feel so guilty for leaving . . . until I read some of the crazy things that I have survived!
I have also been reminded of all those I have come in contact with throughout this crazy journey. Many of you have gone through some major changes and trials. I will be "catching up" on your blogs as time permits and commenting, as none of you have been forgotten. Some of you are still hanging in there. I understand both sides of the coin, and admire you all for your strength, whether that means staying or leaving. Either way, it is not easy.
I am now living in my upstairs apartment, with 2 cats and a dog. It is not the grandeur of my former home, but I have my own space and peace, which is more priceless than anything else I can imagine. I also have friends around me who have been very supportive, and my own son told me this summer (when I was still living in the camper), that I would still be better off even if I were "living in a tent!" I thanked him for his observation, and also told him I agreed with him.
Do I still worry about hubby? Absolutely, but I have also recently started divorce proceedings, as I need closure.
I will continue to "visit" from time to time, and I wish all of you well . . .
Take care,
Lilly
Wishing you all the best Lilly
ReplyDeleteno one can ever imagine exactly what someone else is going through
You did everything you could at the time
I am glad to hear that you are doing so well
Keep in touch from time to time
Tom's Wife
Thank you, Tom's Wife, I will. Take care of yourself, especially through this difficult time.
DeleteHugs,
Lilly
Hello Lilly
ReplyDeleteI just found you yesterday and was up half the night thinking about your posts. I've been married to a type 1 for 29 years and I feel like I have come to the end of the road with him. I have no energy left to cope with his lows and his unpredictable mood swings. He refuses to listen when I need to talk about how I feel after a bad low, and how emotionally draining day to day living with him has become. We are trying a trial separation. Sad times. It's been helpful reading about your journey. Thanks. SadM
29 years? God bless you and keep you; you are a stronger person than me! I did it for 13, and I felt sucked completely dry. I was on the verge of losing myself if I continued to stay. I still wonder how much of his "moods" were diabetic-related, and how much is just his personality and/or other problems. I really will never know, and in the end, does it really matter? We alone know what it does to us, whatever the cause.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that my blog has helped you in some way. You may want to check on the right sidebar of my blog for others who have helped me tremendously along the way. It really DOES help to know that we're not alone. For years, I thought I was the only one . . .
Take care and be good to yourself,
Lilly
Hello my friend. Isn't life better on the other side? Although still married, I am 800 miles away and free from the abusive DH. It's been almost two years and I think it is time for me to do the final cut. He says he wants to stay married so I can get his life insurance. I don't believe him. It's just been so nice to be able to breath without fear of the monster. The PTS is still around. Yet, I do feel free.
ReplyDelete