Thank you for your responses. It is kind of rare that we get men with diabetic wives commenting on here, and it's good to be reminded that this world of diabetes can go both ways.
I have tried counseling with my hubby, to no good end. It always ends up badly, as he thinks the counselors, psychiatrists, psychotherapists, and even doctors don't like him and are ganging up on him, and he usually starts yelling. There have been a couple of lucid times when he "gets it" for the moment, but unfortunately it never lasts. What happens is the minute anyone challenges his messed-up thinking, he goes on the defensive, and has to somehow make it their fault. It has been very disheartening, and has made it hard for me to hope for anything to change for the better. I ask myself almost every day how long I can do this. I am truly sorry to be so negative, as I know you are searching for answers.
As far as kids: I have always been very grateful that we don't have children together. My son was out of the house before we got married, and my spouse never had children. Personally, I can't even imagine bringing kids into this situation, but I also know some of my younger readers do have children and/or are trying to have them. Any comments on raising children with a diabetic spouse would be appreciated.
In the meantime, Anonymous, enjoy your kayaking (which you mentioned in another comment). It helps . . . just be careful!